#bc thats what i primarily deal in
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WIP GAME
Wip Game Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.
tagged by @narcissa-black-supermacy @ambrxsiaa @spindrifters and @leogichidaa 💜 thanks for making me go into my drafts for the first time in months lol im just adding the doc names as is so feel free to ask about them!
AM FC J/S
MC
jily new house
potter tattoo
(modern) prongsfoot
blood adoption
james dies 5th year. sirius pov.
x times sirius jokes about being a potter and 1 time he finally was
sweet, sweet love (?)
sex pollen
sugar daddy james
i feel like everyone’s done this atp so consider this open to anyone who’s not; but also tagging @narcissa-black-supermacy in return bc we need to bully her into finishing her drafts bc she’s hoarding so much prongsfoot gold!!! consider this a reminder and a threat, New Dani!!
#i added my oneshots to this too#bc thats what i primarily deal in#but its valid ok#i havent really been writing anything new recently#so these r either very old or the current one#nothing in between like there used to be#feels weird#not all of these are like—properly written down. some of them r bullet points and some vibes loosely stitched together#pen's writing
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if anyone is willing to talk to me abt possible system stuff that would b great btw i have zero ppl to talk to abt it lol
(or if i can be guided to like. idk. server that helps w figuring this shit out)
#askin some hard questions rn WOOOOO#mainly .#fr context i realized i was a system at like 13ish#do not have the trauma to qualify for a diagnosis#and have been off and on about thinking of myself as a system or not#primarily bc my identity was in a period of upheaval throughout my teen years thanks to abuse#i definitely have experiences that i think are having alters#even if i AM able to block it out hardcore and ignore it for the most part#i guess it is like a conscious sticking my head in the sand thing#bc honestly. dealing w processing trauma has been hard enough by itself#and there is in fact an actual goal the entire system holds itself to#sighs.#the way im talking sure is yelling the answer at me#ig im just like. lays on floor#i need validation lol#on whether or not what im experiencing is a thing or not#or if its possibly my psychosis acting up again#bc i am legit never sure abt that one#granted i havent had any of my other psychosis symptoms#(i think)#and i feel . fine?#so it PROBABLY isnt that#but it wouldnt be the first time ive had a rlly intense delusion thats altered my identity#and i am in fact really gullible#but also it Does feel weird to refer to alters as kintypes . bc theyre so fleshed out and Not That#sits.#and i also do dissociate like crazy#i hate it when things get complex lol#in reference to psychosis. no what i consider alters are not hallucinations#theyre WAY too fleshed out for that
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as a certified Aromantic Asexual (I should make myself a certificate) I genuinely don't Believe there is systemic oppression that specifically targets Aromantic or Asexual people.
I do however believe that people Cannot be normal about ppl who don't have sex or romantic relationships, and that can Really Impact Aromantic And Asexual People.
Also like. Aros n aces are still. Experiences Other forms of oppression that can interact with the aro and/or ace-ness
#Like. Woman doesn't get married. Maybe aro maybe illegal for her to marry who she wants maybe no fuckin reason. She's probably gonna get#Some shit for it but that's primarily misogyny. While it does affect aro ppl disproportionately bc. Yeah. It's not based on them being#Aro it's a conicindental intersection. Also can y'all be normal about sex and virgins#Anyway slightly related dreaming of a world in which it was better acknowledged that sex repulsion while common for ace ppl#Was not synonymous w being ace so we avoided the ace discord phenomenon that a bunch of gay/lesbian/bi ppl mis identified as ace#Bc they couldn't deal w the idea of having sex w a person of the same gender#With the idea of actually having sex bc it was treated as gross (sex repulsion as a result of society) or that trauma survivors#Misidentified as ace bc they had issues w sex bc trauma. Also that sex repulsion wasnt like an identity but rather a Symptom that could be#Either a problem or neutral. Who else's brain was boiled by ace and also inclus/exclus discord and came out thinking everyone was fucking#Stupid. Like both sides had Points but it was mostly just bullshit and no one fucking talking. Also ppl kept talking about ace ppl#''stealing resources'' and multiple ppl joked Abt that which is a problem bc that means. A BUNCH OF LGBT PPL DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT RESOURCE#THEY HAD (anyway looking back on it. Idk if ace ppl were even taking up resources or anything like the common example was LGBT shelters#Bc like if u were gay u might be kicked out of a normal shelter but if u were ace u would probably not get kicked out so if an ace person#Went to an LGBT shelter then they might've taken a bed from someone who needed it more which. I guess is theoretically possible but also id#If that ever fucking. Was something to actually give a shit Abt. Correct me if I'm wrong)#ALSO the idea of ''all gay ppl should go to hell'' ''oh do bi ppl only half go to hell?'' sure thats probably a problem but also. A LOT OF#THOSE WERE EVERYONE DOING IT INCLUDING GAY PPL? LIKE THE FUCKING ''ALL GAY PPL SHOULD BE ON AN ISLAND AND THE POPULATION AUFNFJNSAJ''#like does anyone else remember that. Everyone was making those stupid fucking jokes. This is just a rant Abt me being on Tumblr without an#Account for years and the psychic damage I've accrued. Anyway fuck AO3 goodbye
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currently revising Breaker's (my sonadow kid/twin) design :D he primarily takes after Sonic, taking over the day shift of watching Green Hills and taking up a 'hero' mantle
he's incredibly strong w/ abilities including electricity and Chaos Control/time-space manipulation. ofc not without his own... personal caveats to deal with.. (he's kind of fucked up :/?) at first I named him Breaker as a shorthand for 'daybreak' (his twin being named Dusk) and thought it was stupid (bc Sonic would name his kid something stupid) but the more i thought about it.. the more it worked.. windbreaker.... circuit breaker...a breaker being a heavy sea wave connecting to Sonic's fear of water..breaks/brakes... mm wordplay
ever since he was a little, Breaker’s always came out on top. he’s always looked up to heroes, naturally- after all both their fathers were. and he’s settled into the role quite nicely, one of Green Hills’ very own, and very beloved. all the townsfolk know him, all the women fawn over him, a true bonafide role model but even his twin brother Dusk wonders/isn't sure if thats really what he wants or if its simply a role he’s acclimated to
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since i have seen this argument pop up again and again and now its used to defend the minecraft movie
i really hate the argument that something, be it a movie or a game, can be as shitty as it wants when its primarily aimed at kids (or people THINK it is aimed mostly at kids) bc its 'just for kids'
like children are lesser an stupid? like they arent incredibly impressionable and deserve good movies? im not saying they should only watch critical acclaimed drama movies, but you can make a movie 'for kids' AND make it good, its been done before, sure there will always be shit movies, and thats fine, but dismissing any kind of criticism towards them bc "its just for kids" feels so unecessarily mean spirited towards children, like they are little people in wildly different stages of development!! they can think too!!
'kids' itself is such a wide range that i feel its not very useful as a category anyway, a 5 year old isnt the same as an 11 year old, both of them should get good things, and both can watch or play things they may not completely understand yet! i grew up with shrek, and while a big parody and haha fart humor movie, they (1+2) have an incredibly strong core, i didnt udnerstand them fully when i was little, so what? i still enjoyed them, i felt more connected to them than any disney movie (bc hey .. the monster is the main guy and no they dont all turn into conventionally pretty humans as the ultimate reward- i felt othered throughout my life too) and i still do, theres jokes and themes and meaning i understood fully only when i was rewatching them as an adult, i still enjoy them even at 27
and like, shouldnt it ESPECIALLY matter what children watch? (not in the puritan brain worm way) bc they are ... people in development?? do you think if they just sit down and watch shitty movies and play games that dont challenge them at all, be it thinking critically or emotionally, all day it wont have an affect on them??
(im sorry to bring up totk again, but that 'its for kids' argument has been used to defend it so much too, and its so incredibly annoying to me, ah yes, its puzzles are all skippable or easy as shit bc its main target are kids and children are stupid and shouldnt be challenged ever, the story is a simple fairytale type deal maybe to you, but contains alot of harmful stereotypes that have led to real world harm and its repeated unquestionably while offering nothing intersting to think or engage with, theres a reason alot of childrens media contains alot of stereotypes to propaganda even but its just for kids of course its not propaganda bc kids are stupid and cant understand that lol BECAUSE they are so impressionable, if a series 'for kids' only lets the girls be in frilly pink dresses and do 'girly' stuff do you not think that wil affect how they think about themselves??
if they keep seeing the light skinned blonde heroe stab the unquestioned evil arab stereotype bc he wants to take over your holy land bc hes just 'evil' and is never ever humanized in any way and only presented as a monster, while the good little maiden princess does everything she can to support her hero in shiny armor with big sad doe eyes and pretty little white dress- do you not think it will affect them? if it were an isolated incidence perhaps not much, but its a stereotype perpetuated to such a degree that you think its just 'how fairytales go'? yeah, you have been influenced by these portrayals, they are working as intented- and if they are used as such in media without the writer intending to influence you that way? thats even worse bc it means it has been so normalized to think that way people dont even realize it- while alot of real people in the world are ganondorf, they are demonized and dehumanized, others think of them as inherently evil.. but its just a "simple fairytale"
yes i know children can also question things on their own, but you shouldnt assume that comes naturally and then also in just the correct way, i questioned why i was just doing whatever the talking boat told me to do when i first played windwaker as a kid, but more bc i liked how ganondorf looked and hated being told things to do without a good reason being given (autism much?), 'evil' didnt do it for me, but that doesnt mean i knew he was an evil arab stereotype, i didnt like tetra turning white as zelda, bc i thought she looked cooler before and i didnt like 'girly' things myself, not bc i knew it was whitewashing
-not saying media should be free of anything 'problematic', the problem is how its presented and never questioned or engaged with critically and then that stupid argument being used to dismiss it like children are both unable to think and not influencable somehow-)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#minecraft movie#i know i went on a sorta rant there again#i just saw epic tm dunk posts about people criticising the minecraft movie#and you know i have opinions#man i can never shut up#.. anyway im gonna go and repot my plants
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marvel's boys: from sidekicks to heroes
i've been seeing a lot of talk about my friend ray's post about the mentor/sidekick relationship in marvel as compared to DC (this post is specifically in regards to the movie portrayal of said relationships). find the post here. the discussion around this post has inspired some thoughts in me, so i thought i'd share them below.
steve and bucky's relationship as mentor/sidekick originates in the golden age as part of the "child sidekick/hero" craze phenomenon at the time. kids wanted to know they could contribute to the war effort in these years, that they could also make a difference when their fathers and brothers went to war. so the child sidekick was invented and at marvel, that was bucky barnes + toro raymond.
but even in the silver age, we maintained a younger sidekick mentality: rick jones, janet van dyne (until she turned out be old enough to marry hank pym), and i would even include flash thompson's brief stint as a fake spider-man in this category. but, yes, all these "sidekick" scenarios eventually winded down. but i don't think it's because marvel decided sidekicks weren't a worthy trend anymore. far from it.
i think DC's interpretation of the mentor/sidekick relationship becomes more paternal/familial whereas marvel's becomes centered around guilt and trauma (rick jones, primarily). i wouldn't say marvel hated sidekicks after the golden age; they just become heroes on their own (peter parker, the original x-men, nova, etc.) rather than relying on a mentor-esque figure. i think DC has clung to the paternal side of this trend more and maintained it - it's worked for them, so great. but marvel i think dived the other way which was also great.
i know about the "spider-man killed teen sidekicks by being both a young person and the main hero" take as well and i have some thoughts on that, too, if you'll bear with me.
i think it isn't that we started hating sidekicks. i think we realized that, after the golden age, the kids weren't just kids anymore. there is a genre of kid who was too young to fight in ww2 but who still dealt with that trauma and that kid was reading these comics, sending in letters, collecting stamps, etc. comic mags in the golden age used to be FULL of things like "if you see any war planes over your city, report it to the nearest military office!" or "you can collect scrap metal and donate it to the war effort, just like timmy here!" and after the events of pearl harbor, every timely comic had a big stamp on them, demanding that we "remember pearl harbour".
now its 1962 and that kid is 15 and he kinda doesn't NEED his dad as much cause he's either dead or he's been away for years fighting in the war. this kid needs to be his own hero. [gestures to peter parker, richard rider, steve rogers even if you count the origin story] like it isn't that spider-man killed the sidekicks - it's that he lost his father figure (ben parker) and now had to be his own hero and i think that would've resonated a LOT with kids of that era who had gone through a similar loss.
i think it shows in rick jones too - the reason rick just never REALLY "sidekicked" is because he was a reflection of the young boys/girls at the time who suddenly had no parents or elder figures bc of the wars. now they had to deal with it on their own and thats why he didn't stick it out with steve and why he became bruce's friend instead of the hulk's sidekick, cause he just didn't need that mentor and that protection anymore after what he (as a representation of kids from the after-war years) had gone through.
it isn't that the sidekicks died. it's that they were forced to grow up.
if you're interested in thoughts like this, i have some posts on my rarely used wordpress blog. The Golden Age: overview: how i started reading the Golden Age comics. The Golden Age: I: characters i thought i knew, but did not. The Golden Age II: think of the women and children!
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NOW THAT THE HANDHOLDING SERIES IS DONE CAN WE PLEASE HEAR THE THOUGHT PROCESS IM BEGGING
OF COURSE OF COURAE
3rd life : this is the starting point i went off for all of them obv :3 though i chose this type of hand holding in particular because it's close, it shows how clingy they are to eachother and how they want to hold onto eachother, keep eachother safe! the bracelets are representative of eachother,, grians is of pizza's blanket. thing as scar was usually the one who primarily cared for the llama rather than grian, whilst scar has the pizza tribute banner design as grian made that banner for scar! another thing to note is that grian has alot of freckles, because he's in the desert with alot of sun and can't really wear his sweater!
last life : pinky holding!!!!! i chose that for last life since quite alot of grian and scar's interactions in this season had to do with deals and things like that, so i had the idea of 'pinky promises' in mind for that :) their bracelets are a little bit dirty due to them being in. a death game of course, and scars has some ash atthe bottom of his due to his death in lava! and originally i had intended to show that grian had less freckles in this one, and i even drew it out, and then proceeded to remember that my last life grian design has gloves bjfjvt i also managed to forget the wrist hearts for this one, whoops!
w/o the gloves :
double life : i chose this type of hand holding because it looks as if grian is pulling scar away from something, which is something i imagine he had to do alot during this season! their bracelets have become much more tattered since, again, death games and just general wear and tear on hermitcraft aswell. on the tips of their fingers they have a slight purplish hue to them, and also some snow at the tips of scars fingers to show that scar was in powdered snow! (this was kind of inspired by this piece from applestruda, which i looove muah muah)
limited life : admittedly i was SUPER sick while i did this one so theres not really alot of secret little details :( but i chose this sort of hand holding bc it looks kind of secretive! like someone holding hands under a table to hide their relationship or something, bc i sort of love the 'secret teen movie relationship' vibes some people have with lim life scarian!! their bracelets have gotten alot more tattered, being basically one row of the bracelet now showing its age and such
secret life : i chose this hand holding because i personally view the secret life time as the sort of turning point in their relationship, where they've finally gotten over how co dependant they were in 3rd life and have finally accepted that it happened! i mean, grian asked scar to alliance with him, which is something in previous seasons which he has shown he didnt want to do (even if scar had to turn him down cause of his task), they also aren't clinging to eachother like they usually are - in all other seasons they tend to hang around eachother, even if they're not allied, whilst in this one they've left themselves ally and focus on other people, nd i view this on them being more stable in their relationship - the hand holding pose i chose seems somewhat loose, like they're willing to let go, they're not clinging onto eachother like in 3rd life
ok onto the bracelets fkhjhfjbf they still have the thread from their old bracelet but they've added onto them! this symbolises how they've accepted the events of 3rd life, and that they still need to carry on with life regardless of it! i picked out their main colours for this, grians has scars main colour of green and scar has grians main colour of red! they also have charms!!!! scar has a golden wing charm whilst grian has a silver cat charm :D
(another note : i chose those specific metals bc - whilst i didnt put the ring designs in the handholding art - they match what metals i have in my ring designs for them >:3)
ok secret life has alot but thats bc i literally just made it dhvfjv im so happy that u like the art!!! :D im super proud of them
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hello! i have a question about your video editing process if you don’t mind :3 you’ve mentioned using imovie right? do you have to like, insert your clips along the audio track in the order you want them to appear in?
i ask bc i’ve been wanting to get back into video editing, but i’ve found the inability to freely place clips along the audio to be a big turn off from imovie, which is what i’m primarily used to using.
basically is that something you just have to deal with or am i totally missing some basic functionality of the program? tyvm and sorry if this is confusingly worded lol
as far as im aware its just one of those things that you cant do. which is rly annoying. the way ive found to get around it is either by inserting a picture into the timeline (i usually just use a black image so i know where the space begins and ends) and editing around that or ok ill try to explain this i hope it makes sense: ill import two clips from another project at the same time which have a clip in the middle and this creates a ‘gap’ clip which is blank that you can use in place of a clip. so for example if i had clips 1,2 and 3 in another project i would copy clips 1 and 3 leaving out 2 and paste them into my timeline in my current project to create a gap. which you can then trim or expand to be the appropriate length etc
idk if there are easier ways to do this and if there are i will feel very stupid but thats how i make the program work for me! imovie is deeply clunky but ive been using it for like 4 years and i simply do not have it in me to learn how to use another program. and i dont wanna do anything particularly special with like visual editing i prefer to just make cuts to music so it works for me! hope that all made sense if i can help with anything else pls let me know! have fun!!!
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ok my dndads queer hc post randomly gets notes but i disagree w many of the takes now so im updating it . spoiler warning theres a WHOLE lot of lezzies . just doing the dads kiddads and teens HOWEVER i will say that mark likely is for sure a lezzer
darryl: bisexual and probably the most cisgender one here but he's actually SO cis that it becomes almost gnc . he/him
ron: transhet guy but he thinks his transition is like very unique to him and everyone else is doing it the exact same as each other so he doesnt really get that hes Transgender bc he thinks everyone else is doing it in a really different way than him all together . not in an angsty way hes perfectly okay w that . he/him
henry: trans bi guy we know this to be true . he/him but if you called him they/them prns he would be like well yknow ive never thought about that before but you know what go right ahead (: he doesnt exactly enjoy it but he appreciates just how gosh-darn nonbinary positive you are that he'd still encourage it
glenn: bisexual and like .... hes cis he doesnt really care abt gender much but when nick came out as trans he definitely said something about like . "dude if i was trans? id totally use they/them pronouns thats sick as fuck" and then moved on and this sort of haunted nick for a while . he/him but again he doesnt really care
jodie: cis and bisexual but in such a boring way that he might as well be straight
sparrow: tgirl lesbian who was out at one point but is not now for Normalcy Reasons . she/her in theory
lark: transneu nonbinary and aroace . not out about either of these things but not really as a like Actively Closeted thing they just dont really think abt it . they/he in theory
terry jr: tgirl lesbian also but this time out AND butch . she/he
grant: gay of course . and like .... he is cis and this wont change but he'd be a good deal happier if he was more gnc i think
nick: tguy butch lesbian . he mostly but he doesnt really care that much
link: kinda-stealth tboy (not really intentionally or anything he just doesnt really see it as relevant that often so most people dk) and gay . he/him but he doesnt really care that much
taylor: honestly idk what i think is going on w his gender but i DO know hes aro and bi . give me some time to think on that ok
scary: out nonbinary tfem lesbian!!!!! we know this!!!!!! she/it and when she writes her pronouns down she always writes the it in VERY BIG AGGRESSIVE HANDWRITING to make it clear that its SUBVERSIVE AND WEIRD
normal: bisexual tgirl . currently in a like . Questioning Phase in s2 i feel like ..... her turmoil abt being a Normal Son is tied to that . any pronouns but she primarily
hermie: bigender (girl + boy) gaybian :3 was an open bisexual tguy originally but around the poison ivy era had some Gender Complexity . he/she but certain Method Personas have diff pronoun leans whereas normal herm is pretty 50/50
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What are your thoughts on the lack of elvish prejudice in DAV? As an elven rogue, I was pretty disappointed tbh
okay so beware spoilers below and im going to get rambly
also im assuming we're discussing the prejudice and hatred TOWARDS elves? if i got that wrong sorry for the unsolicited essay on the lack of fantasy racism lmao
im putting this below the cut bc it did get long
I will admit that this didnt cross my mind my first time through. but ur right, theres a distinct lack of "knife ear" comments. I haven't gotten far into my playthrough with my elf rook so idk how ppl react to them yet.
from what i remember there are comments from Bellara and maybe Davrin about the gods actions making things harder for elves but we dont see the evidence of this, which i would have liked to explore more
i have a couple of lore questions that i dont know the answer to that popped into my head while thinking about this:
do cities in northern thedas have alienages in the same way that the south does?
Is this something that the game doesn't show us, or do they just not exist and there is more elven integration, at least in the poorer areas we're shown (dock town in minrathous)?
with the way the class system and slavery in tevinter works, is the disdain shown towards slaves generally, regardless of race? Fenris was an elf, but his mistreatment was focused on him being a slave from what i recall
The Exalted March of the Dales was an Orlesian Chantry crusade in the south, without this kind of conflict in the north were tensions not as high between elves and other races (also potentially answering the alienages question???)?
maybe im stupid and easy to please but i can also rationalise the lack of fantasy racism with what we see in game
Factions:
the veil jumpers are lead by elves (or at least irelin and strife are our main contacts), spend all their time with elven artifacts, and primarily work in arlathan forest and are close with the dalish. makes sense we dont get racism there
the crows care more about their contracts, and again one of our main contacts (teia) is an elf, plus they're dealing with the antaam taking over the city, if ppl are gonna be racist im sure they have a target that makes more sense (sanitization of the faction attitudes is another issue)
the wardens are focused on trying to end the blight, and accept all races into their ranks anyway. i like that the first warden doesnt hate u bc of ur race but bc ur this random lunatic who strode in yelling about elven gods and distracting his wardens from fighting the blight. and then later on we're mainly dealing with Antoine, an elf (and his wife)
Lords of Fortune has Isabela and i am an isabela/merrill truther 😌(pls refer back to "stupid and easy to please") (also again, dont love the portrayal of the lords, but thats a different issue)
i feel like it makes sense that we dont get racism from the mourn watchers, theyre so respectful of the dead, i dont think u can care that much about a persons eternal rest and hate them in life
full disclosure i picked saving treviso, so in my experience the shadow dragons had bigger issues to deal with. im chill with the viper not being racist when he got blighted and is fighting a cult. but also goes back to my points about minrathous having a different way of looking at class systems
other world building points:
we dont spend a lot of time with royalty/politicians unlike in previous games. v easy to show elves being mistreated in the winter palace, or the arl of denerim's estate, but we dont get shown a lot of that in these cities
I do think it's weird that we have such a lack of bigotry to the elves with the history of the other games, and the fact that the old elven gods are tearing the world apart, it could have been explored more. however im not upset by the lack of. ambient racism
i know a big complaint that people have is that veilguard isnt as "dark" as origins, but i dont think a game needs bigotry to be a dark and confronting story
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don’t really know how to phrase this tbh, but do you have any advice for improving “awareness” (in quotes bc it’s close to what I mean, but brain is too foggy to figure out a more specific word/phrase)??
I’m the primary host for us, and I really struggle to recognize a) when others are in or near the front with me, b) when another part is exerting passive influence, and c) who other parts (especially in/near the front) are. everything asides from full possessive switches always feels very blurry and I have a hard time distinguishing myself from the other parts. I think this is in part due to the way that our DID hides itself and our amnesia (by giving me partial/vague memories and making it feel like I was the one active in them) but it makes recalling things very confusing (and pretty distressing if I realize that I wasn’t in the front for as long as I thought I was), especially when we’ve had non-possessive switches and/or co-con and/or passive influence.
so far, the others are helping me practice recognizing co-consciousness and passive influence by giving me a “nudge” at which point I’m supposed to try to identify who is in/near the front with me. but it’s still a big struggle and it’s been really frustrating, so I’m looking for suggestions on improving that skill, hopefully to a point where I don’t need to be promoted to realize that I’m not alone in the front.
and you’re a blog that we generally trust for info, so do you have any pointers?? (or do you know of anyone else who might be able to help??)
(~ @wondering-phenomenon)
I am assuming you mean "prompted" not promoted XD
I will be honest, our system is considerably "overt" and we have primarily possessive switches (even when we co-con / co-front) and so this realm of things is one aspect we don't have too huge experience with compared to systems that have it as their main form of switches. I'm not 100% sure what kind of switches they tend to have but I know they've talked on similar issues, so I'm gonna @l0st-identity to see if they want to / have anything to say on this / have any other blogs to redirect towards.
With that said, a lot of my experience with this comes from within our subsystem which deals with more non-possessive switches and a lot more confusion of parts (and parts assuming themselves to be other parts), which while different, is a similar frame work from MY experience that I'm using to suggest some things that might help.
One thing that has helped me in identifying me VS not me when parts are similar is to change perspective a bit. Rather than trying to be aware of when "I am not me", try to be more conscientious of when you ARE you - and by that, I mean answering the question of what situations and traits and behaviors make you feel the most you. You can approach this in a "what makes me who I am, how would I describe myself" manner if that's easier (which it tends to be for white and western (/neutral) cultures - if so then its a good place to start, the question is hard to answer so meet yourself where you are) but I think its best done by focusing on just how you feel when operating in the world and learning the general resting state / vibe that "you" settle in. I personally find labels and attaching descriptive labels to an identity tends to be limited in the long run, but thats more so a philosophical ideal preference on my end.
The better you know who YOU are as a part, the easier it is to tell when something isn't quite right. Sometimes if you are struggling in figuring this out, if you have a close person around you who you trust, you can also ask them for feed back and to keep an eye out to help point out things that might be different between parts and/or prompt you to just check in with yourself.
Additionally, its less long term helpful and maybe not hte most productive to long term healing in terms of DID but it can be helpful in the getting through the early stages of DID, which is to just think of things that you know you are ABSOLUTELY not, things you do not at all see yourself doing, and locating the oddities and incongruence between how you see yourself and some of your behaviors in the past to kind of see if there are any odd trends that stick out. It might results in an increase of tension between parts and alter differentiation, but in my experience, to get through the stabilization phase, alter differentiation and some level of tension pulling tends to be part of the process.
Additionally, you can also ask if other parts in the system that are more familiar / better at identifying this could write down some notes and pointers as to how they can tell next time they are out.
Your own parts are often some of your best teachers in my experience.
I had another in mind but I forgot it (honestly probably a few others XD I'm getting tired fight me /lh /j)
Also its kinda silly, but a thing I just do regularly throughout the day as a system that tends to usually have a pretty high co-fronting / co-conning ability is that sometimes I just internally call out and just wait to see if I hear back from anyone.
At this point when it comes to driving (I'm honestly easily stressed by driving due to OCD and dissociation, but at this point basically everyone elsei n the system is fine driving or enjoys it) I call out just about everytime "OK whose gonna drive" and see who speaks back.
Not always will parts respond, especially earlier in recovery and healing and communication work, but its always worth a try in my experience
OH I REMEMBERED IT
It sounds kinda silly as well, but if you notice something feeling off, sometimes I find myself "zoned out" and then as I hear whatever part is in the front wondering if they are me, I click back in and go "WAIT A MINUTE IM ME" and I don't really know if theres any advice I could give REGARDING that but it is a relevant point that might have something to it XD
Oh and in the end of it, per my usual motto, when it comes down to DID, try not to stress too much about figuring things out. Unless people are getting hurt or drastic issues are coming out in the lost time / time you aren't fronting, its not something that needs to be blown up and awareness will general build with time. It's not something you need to focus too much on to be able to slowly develop. As long as you intend to reach out and connect and try to be aware, that should be more than enough to keep you on a good track to increasing awareness as it is. Being kind to yourself and lowering your stress levels to the best of your ability can help a lot in lessening confusing symptoms cause ironically being stressed out makes you dissociated which makes both you and your symptoms more confused / confusing.
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something that im curious about is i've seen so many people say that pete is a great lyricist and i agree but....why don't ppl say songwriter? its just confusing to me. do you know the difference btwn a songwriter vs lyricist...why do ppl always say lyricist involving pete but not songwriter? i just assume that when a person writes lyrics, they are writing words to a song, which makes them a songwriter! i just would like an explanation:)
to me songwriting is primarily writing and arranging the music, at least thats what the career generally entails. like when someone is a songwriter in hollywood but not a performer they will write the music and arragement and sell that, but i dont think lyrics are usually part of the deal. and i think that does include the melody for the lyrics, but i writing lyrics is a mostly separate but closely related thing. i think pete is a good songwriter when he is with other good songwriters bc according to the guys hes very good at recognizing whats good and what works, and his lyrics are a very big part of fall out boy but i think he is not primarily a songwriter, and that lyricist is a more apt description.
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HEHOO I HAVE SOME IDEAS LOL-
So new AU Thing ig... This is actually a expansion of my "Mother Phen" AU except uh.... scrapping some ideas...
What I mean is:
Canon Phen will now still exist, but as a sibling to Kasi!Phen (sorta like an older brother or smtn, idk. Don't worry the phenlings still exists.) Also yes, Both Kasi!Phen & Canon!Phen will be 2 separate individuals, primarily named as Kasinoshi (so that mean she won't be considered a au of Kasikah anymore) & Hakunata (which is more of a Nickname for Canon!Phen tbh.)
Doing another redesign of Kasi!Phen by making her a bit different from Canon... but still keeping some of her main elements (like the hair, weird antennas, extremely big tail, & weird fur clothing/body). & yes, this include updating my designs for Thumper/Locust & Follower/Ankle Biter (who is gonna be refered to as Alto now until I find a better name-)
Rei.... Well, Rei isn't Kasi!Phen duaghter anymore... She's Canon's kid now. (Although Rei is more of a goof character bcs idk if Room will even exist in this au expansion.... I MEAN NOT THAT ROOM DID EXIST IN ANY OF DOCTOR NOWHERE'S WORKS-) (Don't ask me what Rei's frikin deal is, idk either man, plus her ref isn't done yet-)
This weird expansion will have new characters & some weird ahh lore that idk ppl might get upset with me at. (Although lots of this will change if we do get idk... a 2nd installment of TBOP which is prob when Orion rlly wants to make a 2nd installment. Idk, I'm not him I'm jsu some stoopid kid who's like 2 yrs younger than him-) (Orion btw is uh... Dr. Nowhere if you couldn't tell)
Might uh... change Phen 228's (Haku/Canon!Phen) design since well... Kasinoshi has horns & a weird tail so why not him... THEY ARE LITERALLY GONNA BE SIBLINGS IN THIS EXSPANSION! SO WHY NOT EH?
Thats it... that all of me ideas I have for this dum thing I made up for no reason.
& the name of this new AU/expansion.... "Branches of a Paranormal Federation" no I'm serious that's the name. If yall have a better name than the one I have I love to hear it.
& While this will mainly focus on "The Boiled One Phenomenon" It will also have some focuses on "The Organate Enterprises"/T.O.E bcs idk I feel like those 2 are in the same universe but I'm tripping bro-
Imma stamp yapping now & just end this... HOPE YALL LIKE READING THE RAMBLINGS OF A RANDOM BLOB ON THE INTERNET!
#neptuniadoesstuff#Bub's Writes Stuff#AU#AU Expansion#BoaPF#Branches of a Paranormal Federation#the boiled one phenomenon#doctor nowhere#This is stoopid I know...#But if i get yelled at that's yur fault not mine bcs I just wanna hab fun on this frikin site#Welp time to go draw some new designs for Kasinoshi & the others bcs I h8 myself /hj
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I like Peter in CUIAM. He seems more confident than in other fics. Him asking and saying that he wanted to spend time w MJ (in chapter 10) bc he knew she was somewhat backing away (bc of SM) felt like a different Peter than what we’re used to seeing. I feel like he would normally not push it or maybe feel guilty or bad about SM. But he is saying SM doesn’t have to be an issue. Just curious your thoughts on this. Am I way off?!
LOVE THIS QUESTION AND I WILL HAPPILY GIVE MT THOTS ON IT EHEHEHE
For one, they're both a little older and dont have a history with one another thats adding to the mental load between them. This is a fresh start that is free for them to become what they decide to make it.
He definitely comes across more confident in himself and maybe a little more blasé about it all, and that's primarily because things between them *ARE* casual and Peter has been having casual hook-ups since before MJ, he knows how to navigate them and asking for what he wants/needs.
While their feelings might be developing etc, their relationship doesn't exist outside their apartment building right now and that has been purposeful. It's easy bc while they TALK about things bigger than just the two of them, they've yet to actually deal with any of that. All they know is knock on the door, flirt and fuck. Peter hasn't made any promises that he's broken bc of Spidey and it isn't something that has impacted MJ's life as of right now, it is just something she *KNOWS* and is processing, he hasn't unintentionally or intentionally asked anything of her beyond to keep it a secret.
He doesn't feel guilty or shy away from talking to her bc he, like MJ, thinks it is something he can keep separate bc Spidey exists out there vs. In the apartment (but we know that isn't necessarily true)
Whether that will always be the case and whether that attitude will come back to bite them in the ass... Well, this is only part 1 after all, so who is to say?
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it is because they are mostly usamericans/imperial core residents and therefore they can imagine one type of harm befalling them (therefore making it Real and Serious) and not the other (thereby making it Funny)
this is really the heart of the matter isnt it? most ppl who have lived a life thats free from the threat of war and what goes on in it dont take the idea of war crimes seriously. this is partly bc they dont really know what a war crime is. to them war crime is a funny word/term, completely divorced from the reality of what irl war crimes entail
but i'll let you in on a little secret: one of the most common war crimes, one that has existed for as long as war has existed and one that has been committed by every single army that has ever existed, is rape. against women and girls primarily but also against men and boys. sexual assault during wartime is expected and rarely ever prosecuted. its an inherent part of war
i also think that part of why 'war criminal blorbo' is funny and 'rapist blorbo' isnt funny is that most media with a large fandom that makes those types of jokes arent media that really delve into the realities of war crimes. its very abstract or very large scale and therefore, to the audience, doesnt feel as personal. your blorbo blowing up a planet or being a general in charge of a pillaging army feels impersonal, feels very distant (well if youre someone who hasnt had to deal with war irl that is) even if your blorbo is taking part in the pillaging themself. we usually dont see the horrifying aftermath. the piles of corpses, the burnt homes, the utter destruction that ruins lives. we dont see the lasting trauma
rape feels more personal and is typically portrayed as more personal. we see the horror or the horror of the aftermath in full, the lasting trauma that comes afterward. rape is also considered one of the only crimes that literally cannot be justified. your blorbo can have a reason for being a war criminal, he can even have a good reason in the text of the story. maybe he can even be redeemed within the text of the story, make up for what hes done. but rape cannot be justified and cannot by sympathized with so therefore a blorbo who commits rape is inherently evil and, more often then not, he will be portrayed as such within his story
its really crazy how people love to blorbopost about how their blorbo is a War Criminal Scrunkly but those same people will act like you ate their dog if you so much as imply that scrunkly has any textual relation to sexual violence
#hoodie ruins others posts#i feel like this is a very interesting and nuanced topic#its got me thinking!#fandom onions
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DO YOU READ LIKE. HORROR AND SCI-FI MAYBE IF SO DO YOU HAVE ANY RECOMENDSTIONS PRETTY PLEASEEEEEEE SLASH NOT FORCED
okay disclaimer b4 i start: im kinda picky about what i read due to the fact i have a super hard time w/ books that either have long chapters and/or a small font so this wont be a super long list lmao. also all these will be YA bc thats like primarily what i read
Horror:
so honestly the only horror books ive really liked so far are the ones by Andrew Jospeh White. and my post about said books may’ve been the reason for this ask uh so idk you mightve already read them. if you havent read them though they’re really good :D he has 3 books as of rn: hell followed with us, the spirit bares its teeth, and compound fracture (in order of first released to most recent). all of them also have really amazing trans and autistic rep (imo) but they definitely all deal with triggering topics. theres a list of what the book will touch on at the beginning of each one i believe but graphic depictions of violence, transphobia, and ableism are touched on in all of his books so just remember to keep yourself safe
most the sci-fi i like tends to be more dystopia than sci-fi honestly. in my brain sci-fi is like space and stuff but ig its just anything w/ futuristic stuff(?) so uhm. if google lied to me just ignore this lmao
i really liked legend by marie lu but its part of a series that i havent read the other two of so i cant say anything on those. very same situation w/ scythe by neil shusterman of i really liked scythe, but its part of a series that i have not read all of
i lowkey forgot everything ive ever read as soon as i was asked so if something comes to me i’ll add to this :3 hopefully this is at least a little helpful for recommendations tho??
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